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   Corny Old Railroad Jokes!

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Well, here they are! Some of the corniest old gags and jokes about railroad life you've ever heard! Prepare to slap your knee and bust your buttons cuz here they come! ( yes...you're supposed to groan )

 

LAWYER: "Did you see the automobile approaching the railroad track?"

CROSSING WATCHMAN: "Yes sir -- and I said to myself, " That sure is a nice car -- wasn't it?"


TRAVELER: "What's the use of you having a time table if your rotten trains never stick to it?!"

PORTER: " Well, sir... how would you even KNOW they was runnin' late if NOT for the timetable?"


An elderly lady walked into a Toronto ticket office and asked for a ticket to New York. " Do you want to go by Buffalo?" inquired the ticket agent. "Certainly not!" she answered indignantly, " I want to go by TRAIN!"


PULLMAN PORTER to passenger: "Shall I brush you off, sir?"

PASSENGER: " No thank you.....I'd prefer to get off the train in the USUAL manner!"


CONDUCTOR to passenger: " Sir, I must ask you not to leave your luggage in the aisle."

FAT PASSENGER: " That's not my luggage, my good man.....that's my LUNCH!"


MAN: "Well, I can see that there must be a train around here somewhere."

WIFE: "What makes you say that, dear?"

MAN: " Because it left its TRACKS behind!"


What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time?

"Choo choo!"


Question: Why do Y6's not swim?

Answer: How could you get a 2-8-8-2 in a bathing suit?

 

Copyright© 2005 Erik Sansom